Today I’m landlocked at the house. We are a one car household *until next week when our one-car status will cease after nearly 7 years of marriage!* and it worked out for my husband to take the car to LGA for just one night.
In the past, this was never a problem. I’m used to not having a car to drive, and now with two babies to lug in and out whenever I want to go anywhere without my husband around, I welcome the excuse to not drive for 24 hours.
Except – on this particular day, Monday, it meant I couldn’t go to my Monday morning fitness class. And it immediately stung me.
I have made no secret of my love of group workout classes. It’s my “me” time and it’s gotten to the point where I can’t walk into the gym and workout by myself anymore because I feel so lost and bored without an instructor and other women working out beside me.
Anyway, I got over my loss of Monday’s class by putting a trusty, well-worn Jillian Micheals DVD in this morning. I used to spend hours every week with Jillian, and it was like seeing an old friend after many years. I get oddly obsessed with the personalities and quirks of the background fitness people on workout videos; I can clearly bring to mind the two women in the first Tae Bo video cassettes I ever owned (short-haired young woman who made everything look easy and the older lady with long blonde hair in blue who struggled just like me) and seeing the gang back together again made me all nostalgic. For a workout video from 5 years ago. I need to get a life….and stop being such a sap.
So I’m in my living room, testing the limits of our floor joists by jumping up and down with vigor, and my kids are proving to me just why having a babysitting option at our gym is invaluable. L made me stop about three times just for snack upkeep, and little H demanded a feeding exactly halfway through the 45 minute DVD. I sat on our couch, sweaty and gross as I fed him and longed for the peace of an uninterrupted workout.
I’ve obviously gotten very spoiled and need to check my workout “privilege”. What struck me as funny today, though, was how my little obsessions and admiration for the people on the TV sort of correspond with my real-life gym workouts. Generally, it is the same women in each class, the same instructors. You get to know the quirks of everyone, and you have those women who you aspire to work as hard as, plus those you make you roll your eyes all the time. Before I joined my local gym, I was an avid at-home fitness DVD connoisseur, and I think it’s messed me up mentally. When I see the instructors or other women outside of the gym, the fourth wall is broken and I get very shy.
The other day at work I saw someone I recognized from classes and found an excuse to go hide in the back until she had her coffee and left. I can’t really explain my awkwardness, I suppose I just want to keep people in “boxes” and if they aren’t where I expect to see them it’s one of the few times of my life where I’m bashful. But breaking that fourth wall as it relates to my workouts just doesn’t work for me.